Love Novice

Why do my words fall behind my thoughts When I look at you Simple hellos I’ve said a thousand times Suddenly feel brand new Standing in front of you, I rehearse Like love is something to prove My heartbeat tells the truth too fast Even when I want it mute I circle around what I really mean Say nothing just to say something I lose my sleep over one reply Learning how to look just fine But inside I’m still a beginner Yeah, my heart’s still learning you I’m a novice in love I stumble on the words “I need you” Hide my truth behind a careless smile Then watch it slip right through I stay one step behind Afraid you might fade away Yeah, I’m a novice in love Still learning how to stay I don’t know how to love you right But I love you anyway I don’t know how to love you right But I’m learning every day I memorize the songs you play on repeat Write down the weather you hate I pass it off like it’s nothing much But you fill every space My days are quietly shaped like you Even when you’re not around Every small detail pulls me in Every silence is loud My jealousy shows too easily I get hurt, then I regret Why is love this complicated No instructions, no defense I wish there was a manual But all I have is this heart I’m a novice in love Pretending I’m okay gets easier The more I try to do this right The more I mess it up somehow I rehearse confessions you’ll never hear They stay locked inside my mouth Yeah, I’m a novice in love Still afraid of saying it out loud If I make mistakes along the way I won’t run, I won’t hide Learning by getting it wrong That’s the whole story of my side I’m still a novice in love But this feeling’s real, I swear Slow words, hesitant steps Still lead me to you, always there Someday I’ll learn how not to shake When I finally say your name Until that day, I’m loving you In my imperfect way I’m learning… I’m learning how to love you